What? You mean three year olds are actually capable of handling such emotional issues?
You bet!
Tee, my very vocal and direct daughter, is best friends with a girl three months her senior whom she started school with at the same time. They have been best friends at school, always looking forward to seeing one another every morning, always looking out for each other and having the times of their lives together. As first friends, as best friends.
This week however, my girl decided that she liked someone else better, best friend's elder sister. AND she told her best friend this straight to her face. Best friend was visibly hurt and went home crying to her mother, asking why Tee preferred somebody else to her. She thought they were best friends!
Today, when I dropped Tee off at school, best friend came up to me to ask why Tee preferred her older sister to her. The question stunned me.
So I quickly responded that sometimes, people like older people because they look up to them. It doesn't mean they don't like the younger people and some day, she would have younger people liking her more too. Weak, I know......
I didn't have time to talk to her as I was rushing off so perhaps I will have a chat with her again tomorrow to explain that sometimes, people have different likes and these likes are subject to change at anytime. Just how she may like carrots today and not tomorrow.
What would you have said?
Nov 14, 2007
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5 comments:
I remember Jenn's daughter going thru the same thing. Rejection (however temp) is dang hard, esp for a little one.
I haven't had this experience as yet. I'd also talk to Tee about how she hurt her best bud and perhaps Tee could tell her best bud that they can take turns playing with the other. As for the best bud, I think u did well under the pressure hehe I think all she needs is reassurance that Tee is still her mate and you can do tht but Tee has to be the one who can make her feel better mah.
I guess its kinda a lame suggestion LOL But perhaps Tee can learn this way that what she says has consequences?
I will have this prob next school year cos the twins best bud is most likely not returning to their school next year and not for their primary school.. I havent had the heart yet to tell them. They have been best buds since the Js started school.
good luck with the dilemma!
Pretty matured daughter you have there but you handled it pretty well.
i agree with angelia. mum can't make ammendments for daughter's action each time. she has to learn that sometimes u have to hold your tongue, esp when it hurts others. it's called tact, isn't it? n it's what makes u beautiful inside, empathy and consideration for others' feelings. who knows, one day she may find that she likes the younger one more again and it'll be too late to turn back the clock. the lesson here, perhaps, is not how mother shld handle the situation but how daughter could say it better next time? our hearts are big enuf to love everybody at the same time.
awwwwwwwwww.... Tee is so smart :)
I think you did allright. I also agree with Angelia that maybe a talk with Tee on how she hurt her friend's feelings would probably make things a little better.
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